I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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