another moral hangover. fuck.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
