areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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