This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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