I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
