I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
