I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize