are you so shy because you have an std?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
