Yo dont text me then not text me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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