Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
two words...techno handjob
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
