my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
why do cheetos always look like penises
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
