paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
