No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Randomize
