You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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