i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize