Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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