cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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