there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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