tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
do herpes really smell.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
