We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
