I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
