Your dad touched me again.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
