dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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