i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
