OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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