bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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