it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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