At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
