That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
