Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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