Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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