and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
