maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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