ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize