Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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