i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
