He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I pour the whiskey from now on
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
