FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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