i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize