Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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