I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize