I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
