i jhust puked up my retainher.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
