i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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