We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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