i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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