Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
