my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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