Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
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