I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
