haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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