Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
