He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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