That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
