So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
