I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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