She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
