Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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