please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
