What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
