Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Houston, we have a blender
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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