i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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