i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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