I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?